I've considered my position again, and am sure that I can compensate for Bruce's earth-killing-carbon-footprint when he travels. Among the things I will consider in the future are:
- Travelling naked where allowed.
- Sleeping under a borrowed tarp - there is no need to bring your own. Everybody owns a tarp.
- A homeless dog makes a useful pillow. A dead homeless dog won't move and wake you up.
- Did you know that most restaurants throw out meals that haven't been completely eaten? Bonus.
- The police can chauffeur you most anywhere if you act up in public. Every sixty days or so, do something really outrageous, and you can get a free haircut (not to mention meals) when you are in prison.
- Movies are free if you watch them through somebody's window.
- If you borrow a knife, you can carve shoes out of abandoned tires. Radial tires work best. Attach them to your feet using tree sap (also free).
- Instead of a digital camera, just draw pictures in the sand or dirt. They are as available as most people's digital photos anyways.
- Did you know that they have these places that let you have books, and expect you to bring them back in a few weeks. Fools.
- If you need to learn how to wash in a public restroom (if you care about that sort of thing), ask for tips at the local Chevron station. As an added bonus, the odor of gasoline is an effective deodorant.
These tips are important for any enlightened traveler. Let the Bruce's of the world destroy the planet - I'll try to save it!
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